The unknown

diary enty, journal, mental health

Everything scares me,

My future scares me,

Bringing a child into this world scares me, not knowing how I’d survive being a mum and raising a child.

The next day scares me ,

What will trigger me tomorrow , I’m still learning how to adapt

The dreams I may dream tonight scare me, what If they arnt a dream and they are a memory.

Getting old scares me cause the people I love keep dying as I get older,

I’m don’t want to re live what I have already lived.

I have always said I didn’t want things in life cause I’m scared of the unknown.

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Inner child is calling

journal, mental health

The edge of being happy for so long yet super stress has led me to the edge of oh feck it’s happening again. Sadness , is lurking I can feel it internally. The feeling I get before , I break down. I’ve been neglecting my own inner child, as I physically fill her with sugar and smoke her out with cigarettes. As I send her broke by spending countless of money thinking I’m rewarding to spoil her, in reality I’m keeping my inner child quiet, ignoring her cries for help from all this stress. Compressing it into a box once again, hoping I never have to deal with it. Unfortunately, it’s an on going cycle , a cycle in which I’ve used to survive. Yet, some choices have led me to this edge before I breakdown.
A cry is good , sleep is needed and so is self love for that inner child of mine. She’s calling for help, hoping I’d listen … only time will tell .
Every sunset is different, as tomorrow is a different day . Hopefully, tomorrow I wake up feeling refreshed and all this worry from stress is relieved, so my inner child can be at ease.

Caloundra locals infuriated about the old Post Office

adventure., journal, urbex

Caloundra locals are disgusted about the recent changes of the old historical post office, wishing it had been kept as a historical building rather then very much destroyed by the over use of orange paint for marketing purposes.

This orange building is now use to capture tourists attention leading then to qr coded stickers around the building, once scanned tourist get to a site advertising the infrastructure of new holiday apartments which is intended to be built on this site.

Without a care the painters covered this building including the plants in orange, what a strange way to advertise, but if it works it works.

I will be continuing to follow the growth of this site, curious to see how long this mess will be stationed here until the new site gets built. There are still so many unanswered questions, as the post office local claim to have been here doesn’t look like the building in the image. My guess would be that something else was built here after the old post office.

House fires

adventure., art, beauty, house fire, journal, photography, urban exploring, urbex

Hey guys , it’s been a while since I’ve posted .. I’ve been working hard and doing lots of exploring. For those who are interested in the aftermath of a house fire I have the opportunity two view two houses that was Lit 🔥. One I know some info about and the other I know nothing about but that’s okay cause the pictures look great

This one I know nothing about but I have been driving past it for weeks , finally had the chance to stop and have a nosey.

1930s Home

The owner saw me out the front of this gorgeous 1930s Home and let me come in and look at it more
Luckily it’s not over for this house, a carpenter brought the house after it was on fire and decided he was going to restore it. Giving it a second chance of life.

A girl

adventure., journal, mental health, personal

A girl with a fragile heart, never actually heals, she just tries to survive.

Out of the walls, she sits with nature, as she let’s her higher power communicate with her.
From sunset to sunrise, she hopes it’s not all pain, but how does one mend when trauma is all they’ve known.

Over thinking

journal, mental health, opinions, personal

I just want to get a pen and paper and write… I mean who really wants to hear my random racing thoughts? Most of the time I don’t even want to think about the thoughts cause there is no importance behind it. I mean yes I am easily amused, I like to analyse and problems solve and I like to find a way to make a negative situation positive. But being an over thinker can be extremely tiring for me, I find it hard work. I also find it comes in handy especially working in an industry where attention to detail is highly important.

I have realized that when my brain is trying to process alot, I struggle to find something to blog about. So many things inspire me, I don’t just have one Hobbie, I have many, I just don’t have a few ideas, I have heaps and trying to mold it all into one is was I aim to do on here. As I find having this blog actually helps me with over thinking and expressing.

Re Wiring the Brain

I’m no mental health genius but I do have experience, which I enjoy sharing with my followers, friends & family, hoping to enlighten them. I did overall 18months of Dialectical Behavior Therapy(DBT) & that I do recommend!

Majority of the time we view over thinking as some what negative, but imagine if you had the ability to re wire your brain into making the situation positive, or just looking at it positively. PROBLEM SOLVING. Belive me when I say this skill does not happen over night and can enable one to become physically and mentally exhausted, however it has worked for me.

What if?

If you managed to get to the bottom of this post and you have questions feel free to ask, I’ll answer the best I can.

High Power

adventure., garden, journal, mental health, personal, plants

What makes you feel at peace? What do you feel connected to? What is your high power?

I’ve been wanting to make a post about what I believe is my higher power, what brings peace to my inner self. No, it’s not God, although I believe myself to be quite spiritual. My high power is known as nature. Our plants.

I honestly could not tell you the name of most plants or how to look after them but I can tell you that they make me feel grounded & connected. I can breathe more, I can smile and relax. I can think about my goals and remind myself of positive affirmations, to keep me going in life.

Near my house there is a nursery, on my days off I take go on my lonesome and sit within, with the plants.

“We plant a garden as we believe in tomorrow.

A memory of who was once a student..

adventure., art, graffiti, history, journal, oppurtunity, personal, photography, Uncategorized, urban exploring, urbex
Let me take you back to the year (1887) when this school was first opened and sadly closed in 2009. Once was a child’s place for education and learning, is now a student’s memory. I personally didn’t start my studies at this school but I do remember sitting in the back seat of my mothers car in my early years, driving past.
As a child I always wondered what the school looked like as it was well hidden between houses. To enter was a nature walk over a creek, through trees and over a field. To me it was a mystery school and adventure school.
The school has been up for sale for a couple of years now as it was being used for a local community group, however it sits, ghostly and Unused. Unless you are an urbex Explorer or a street artist, then this school may have been used by you to create.

Manual handling… The weight

journal, mental health

Imagine.. Imagine a box can be any size, it fits all of your current aches, stresses and problems, it’s heavy so heavy. There there is you feeling weak, tired, stressed and exhausted. But without giving up and walking about you try to move this box, you push, you pull, you lean up against realising it’s way too much for you. So, you ask for help, think safety first, psychological safety and well can be physical too.. You are not weak for asking for help, instead you feel supported. One person may help you, may give you resources and ways to make this box lighter or maybe more than one person..

Sometimes it’s about the journey more so the destination, they come hand in hand. I’ll let you work that one out..

So back to the box, people have come to help, it becomes an easier experience for you.. You start to feel lighter and you roll with it. The box may just disappear. I find the box becomes lighter and the little things haven’t piled up again.