A girl with a fragile heart, never actually heals, she just tries to survive.
Have you ever looked at someone else’s family and thought wow they are so beautiful? Just the way they seem to work together, be together and just love each other. If you missed out on that with your own family then you’d know it felt for me seeing a beautiful family. JEALOUS yet the sad kind, the feeling you get when you feel tears come from your own heart. The worst part is the flashbacks from growing up as the imposter, the one who didn’t fit in. The one who felt left out of all three families. Mums side, dads side and the step dads side.
I can see where my partners beautiful nature comes from, and standing back and watching him be with his family makes me smile, makes my heart melt. It’s wonderful, they don’t judge you on your appearance or the choices you make, they still laugh with you, comfort you and support you. I see where my partner got those traits from.
Personally I am scared of the unknown, I’m not use to this. For me growing up and now I feel that I missed out on what my partner has. As I watch what he has and think about what I’m use to I realize that hiding in a bedroom, crying and writing about it isn’t going to solve anything. Maybe, should tell him why I get so overwhelmed and have to be alone. In which I’m use to doing things on my own & this beautiful family do it together. I’m still learning as a adult.
In the image above you can well and truly see I have gotten into propagating, some plants you can do it in water and well other prefer the soil.
I’d like to thank the lovely Instagrammer below for giving me some advice. Attached is her Insta if you’d like to check it out.
Check out my panda plant, it’s finally got more growth spurts
I just want to get a pen and paper and write… I mean who really wants to hear my random racing thoughts? Most of the time I don’t even want to think about the thoughts cause there is no importance behind it. I mean yes I am easily amused, I like to analyse and problems solve and I like to find a way to make a negative situation positive. But being an over thinker can be extremely tiring for me, I find it hard work. I also find it comes in handy especially working in an industry where attention to detail is highly important.
I have realized that when my brain is trying to process alot, I struggle to find something to blog about. So many things inspire me, I don’t just have one Hobbie, I have many, I just don’t have a few ideas, I have heaps and trying to mold it all into one is was I aim to do on here. As I find having this blog actually helps me with over thinking and expressing.
Re Wiring the Brain
I’m no mental health genius but I do have experience, which I enjoy sharing with my followers, friends & family, hoping to enlighten them. I did overall 18months of Dialectical Behavior Therapy(DBT) & that I do recommend!
Majority of the time we view over thinking as some what negative, but imagine if you had the ability to re wire your brain into making the situation positive, or just looking at it positively. PROBLEM SOLVING. Belive me when I say this skill does not happen over night and can enable one to become physically and mentally exhausted, however it has worked for me.
If you managed to get to the bottom of this post and you have questions feel free to ask, I’ll answer the best I can.
Let’s talk about bad days, you may start off by feeling like you are the only one having the worst day and it can start off when you first wake in the morning. You’ve found previously the day would get better but this one bad thing ends up leaving you with a bad day where you feel nothing is going right. Of course you think you are the only one..
But let’s face it you are not the only one having a bad day, the one who speaks to you with frustration may also be dealing with something personally, the ones around you may not be having plans go the way they expected them to go and you start to realise it’s definitely not just you.
Well, I woke up feeling tired and not satisfied with the amount of sleep I got. I went to work not realising the roster was different to usual and some had to set up early so there I was freaking out that I was late and the keys weren’t in there usual spot. I was able to seek reassurance from a co worker that it was fine. Minf you on the way to work I had forgotten my UHF, so I had to turn around to go home. I’m also sensitive to the tones of peoples voices so that didnt help, especially when they became frustrated.
My tea fell off the barrier when it was moved but the person replaced it for me. Didn’t have to but I appreciated it.
If you are having a bad day try and remember you may not be the only one..
Not only do I enjoy writing about words of wisdoms, or little snacks I’ve prepared, but I also enjoy sharing images I have captured or people or places. I had the opportunity to photograph a Hawaiian dance teacher who loves palm trees and flowers.
How do you cope with change? Does the word make you cringe? We go through change from the day we were born, however it’s not easy for some of us. We cant avoid it, if the change is made to be positive and exciting, you may find yourself curious yet your nerves or anxiety may be triggered.
During this time of age it’s okay to feel the way you are feeling, do the best you can do to adapt to the change. For me, I’ve recently moved away from home and wow my anxiety is high. So I’m learning to adapt.
Right now I am having some down time, tears and relaxing music, I’ll have a cup of tear. I’ve put unpacking to the side for a while because I need a break. Taking a step back, to breathe or meditate when anxiety us high is recommended.
Other ideas to adjust/adapt…
Create a safe place in your home where you can relax and take a break. Write your thoughts down or start a blog. Have a shower or bath. Warm drinks help me. Paint or draw. Put in relaxing music. Create some form of routine. Read. Have time to your self. Be with nature. Cuddle someone you love.
Take a step back and observe the situation. Think of strategies to handle that is positive. Remind yourself that you need to accept the things you can not change, but you can adapt.